Late-Night Personalities Lampoon Trump's Controversial 'Gold Card' Residency Program

Late-night's top comedians spent the airtime mocking President Donald Trump's just unveiled immigration initiative, called the "golden visa," characterizing it as a blatant pay-to-play system for the rich.

The Late Show's Witty Spin

Opening his program, Stephen Colbert delivered a mock holiday jingle about the commander-in-chief. "He's making a list, reviewing it twice, before handing that list to the officials at ICE," he crooned. "Donald Trump ... spoils each thing he handles."

Colbert's target was the new initiative which allows overseas individuals to purchase U.S. residence for the price of $1 million dollars, or "top-tier" version for $5 million. An official portal promises processing "with unprecedented speed."

"A brief message here to wealthy foreigners: prior to you pony up, maybe think about Canada?" Colbert remarked.

He pointed out that the card is also intended to "get cash" from businesses looking to hire skilled workers, with large costs. "That is a lot of fees, though if you enroll, you additionally get two free nights at a hotel of your choosing – if it's the that one hotel," he added.

"Unprecedented screening the U.S. government has ever done," remarked Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "that $15,000 vetting to verify these people absolutely qualify to be in America."

"That is important, you gotta prove you're suitable to be an American," Colbert said dryly. "The initial query: how many burgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?"

Jimmy Kimmel's Blistering Commentary

On his own show, Jimmy Kimmel dubbed the visa program the "American Dream Express Card."

"This is a card that will let wealthy international individuals to live here," he said. "In exchange for a million dollars, you get legal resident status, you get a pathway to citizenship, and a presidential pardon for one major crime of your selection."

"Perhaps it's time to update that inscription on the Statue of Liberty – to hell with your poor masses. Pay a million bucks, you're in!" he remarked.

Kimmel teased the brevity of the form, noting it is "more difficult to start a Wordle account." He remarked that Trump "sees citizenship is something you can sell, like a condo."

"Exactly, the top people are the rich people," Kimmel said. "It's what Jesus always said! Read it in the Bible. He says it's simpler for a camel to go through the eye of a needle provided that you offer the needle a million dollars."

Seth Meyers discussing Affordability Concerns

On another network, Seth Meyers turned to Trump's slipping approval numbers during financial concerns. "People gave Donald Trump a another term since they were upset about the economy," he noted.

This week, in a attempt to discuss prices, Trump conducted a briefing in front of a selection of food items, where he behaved strangely to some cereal.

"These look great, I think I'm going to take some of them with me to my place and have a lot of fun," Trump said. "Such as the Cheerios, I haven't had Cheerios in a long time."

"He's so incredibly weird," Meyers responded. "What do you mean, you're going to take them back to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What's the plan with those Cheerios?"

Meyers concluded by criticizing conservative media defenses of Trump's financial performance. "Perhaps instead of complaining, you should give him a sparkling trophy like what FIFA did," he remarked.